There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
What if you’re giving a bj in the shower and he just starts shampooing and conditioning your hair
when you masturbate twice on the same day
When you finger yourself while masturbating
when you try to suck your dick and you break your ribs